.:.Callitoes Collectanea.:.

The truth is that I haven’t ever really found a place that I call home: I never stick around quite long enough to make it. I apologise that once again, I’m not in love, although I seem to enjoy making me believe that I am; anyway it’s not as if I mind that anyone’s heart is not exactly breaking. It’s just a thought, only a thought.

And if my life is for rent and I don’t learn to buy, well, I guess I deserve nothing more than I get, because nothing I have is truly mine. In fact I haven’t learned anything new about life for ages: I only really learned how to survive, not how to live, and that’s not life.

I’ve always thought that I would love to live by the sea, to travel the world alone and live more simply. I have no idea what’s happened to that dream because there’s really nothing left anywhere to stop me. Again: it’s just a thought, only a thought.

And if my life is for rent and I don’t learn to buy, then I must recognise that I deserve nothing more than I get because, as I have said, according to that premise nothing I have is truly mine.

While my heart is a shield and I won’t let it down (I’ve already broken it on the couple of occasions I tried to remove the shield, so it has developed a thicker shield by itself) and while I am so afraid to fail so I won’t even try again, well, how can I say I’m alive?

There: the old song again.

Calítoe est un microbe vierge. Elle est morte. Vive Calítoe.:.

Needless to say that all these ramblings are based on Dido’s lyrics, Tristan Tzara’s Dada manifest and my perfect crappy life.

Tags: vida life

6 Responses to “THE OLD SONG AGAIN”

# Patánon 24 May 2005 at 20:58

Hola C. .. Estoy perdida, lo sé. Estoy acabando la carrera (por fin) y estos meses están siendo una locura.Para variar ni siquiera tengo mail porque está bloqueado y no hay manera de comunicarme contigo…pero te leo siempre que puedo!
Ánimo con todo, y… vive.
# Calítoe.:.on 24 May 2005 at 22:52

Que viva… En ello estoy, se hará lo que se pueda… :smh:.
¡Ánimo tú también!
# Helenon 29 May 2005 at 22:48

Hey glad to see you’re well. Thanks for the database backup and for checking stuff out for me. See you around!
# Calítoe.:.on 30 May 2005 at 01:33

When I wrote that post I wasn’t “this” well :smh:. But yep, I’m ok and it’s a pleasure for me to sort things out :mrgreen:. It’s funny to see your comment in this post anyway :smile:.
# Ivaon 12 Jun 2005 at 01:49

Ouch. Ouch. Ouch. That song always makes me cry…especially when I know…things.
# Calítoe.:.on 13 Jun 2005 at 01:26

I know what you are talking about…

Hugs.